Now Lindsay is retiring his blog, we can safely plunder its fantastic format. I suppose it would be more respectful to wait until after the official date, but frankly I’ve been sitting on this one for a while and it’s Friday afternoon…. I feel like starting a meme. Here is my ‘something for the weekend’, in a slightly TEFLtastic vein. Six things…..
“Sorry about the noise, they got quite excitable today”
What you are actually saying is “My class was fun and engaging, and the happy laughter and lively English conversation may have disturbed the pedestrian and turgid activities your slug-like students were working on”. The truth – your students have no respect for you and you left the classroom to get your hip flask.
“Haven’t you handed those in yet?”
The modern school is heaving under a mountain of paperwork. The trick is never to be the last one to hand it in. As you turn in your overdue exam results, scour the room to find that cringing worm who still hasn’t finished. Say this loudly in front of the admin assistants (or, even better, the school owner).
“No, I haven’t seen it…sorry”
That’s because it’s locked in your desk drawer, under a stack of unmarked writing compositions. The trouble with shared resources is that you will walk into the classroom, pull out the photocopies you cobbled together three minutes before the lesson, only to be greeted with blank-faced stares and a lone groan of “We done already” from a Belgian teenager at the back of the room. Prevent that happening to YOU by “managing” the school materials.
“Got anything good for first class?”
On the other hand, why not tap into the knowledge of your fellow professionals? Best uttered as the bell rings.
“I didn’t have any trouble with them last year….”
Like number one, this is a double whammy. It implies that you are a Super-Teacher and your colleague is hopeless. Actually, they locked you in a store cupboard but that is beside the point. Again, drop this in front of the DoS.
“Oh yeah, I’ve been doing that for a while”
Don’t you hate those keen types with their methodology, their technology, their research and their experimentation? Next time young Thompson starts piping up about his student podblog or his dogears (or whatever the damn thing is), hit him with this. In reality there’s nothing wrong with the lesson plans you perfected in 1987, but it helps to look like you are on the “Cutting Edge” (second edition).
Any key phrases you like to drop? And do you have a ‘Six Things’ of your own?